“Embracing 38”

I know 38 is not a significant birthday and it is not OLD, but it is almost four decades and this is my last year to be 29 before I turn 39 for the next 10 years. As I think about getting older I can’t help but to think .. Other than “gravity”, wrinkles, crinkly knee caps, grey hair sprouts, mood swings, sleep deprivation and memory loss … I really am embracing getting older or should I say growing wiser…

As we grow wiser…

God gives us wisdom and grace so that we can pass the same wisdom on to others and show them grace. We understand (although we may not always like it) that God allows struggles in our lives to keep us closer to him and prepare us to handle the “seemingly” unbearable struggles in our future.

As we grow wiser …

We find that we need much less now to keep us happy. We appreciate our children, family and friends more. With tragedies and struggles we have endured we can really appreciate life more and enjoy “the moment” unlike we did as young adults.  We can step outside our comfort zone and realize we don’t have to be in control and something wonderful may happen. We realize we will not be arrested for letting the laundry pile up. We will leave dishes in the sink to meet a friend or our husband for an ” unplanned lunch date”.  We say YES even if we are busy, to meet a friend in need or meet a friend we need. We realize the importance of having true, loving friends, less friends of course, but those true friends that we know will be there for us no matter what and we so lovingly will do the same for them.

As we grow wiser…

We learn to listen more and judge less . We discover that giving is way more rewarding than receiving . We do not struggle with envy as we did some as  younger adults, we have discovered that those who ” have what we want” also “want what we have” or “want what someone else has”. We discover The grass is NOT greener on the other side. We don’t always get what we pray for but in the end we get something better. We learn to take ownership for our own actions regardless of our past and how we were treated or not treated. We understand the world really does not owe us anything.

As we grow wiser…

We learn that to forgive does not mean we have to condone a person’s behavior but it frees our own hearts from hurt and bitterness. Time does not heal but forgiveness does. We finally find that “filter” that used to not exist.. You know… the one between our brain and our tongue?! It still gets lost or goes on vacation at times and we may have an occasional small “tongue bleed” from biting it, but that filter is there more often than not.

As we grow wiser…

We are ok with the fact that some people will not like us, will misunderstand us or judge us unfairly and we understand that this is just a hard part of life, God knows what is in our hearts. We try not to strive for perfection in ourselves, but strive to be the person God wants us to be (although we fail often.. we are human) We can relate to, love and embrace people who have been broken. We can relate to their struggles and their trust in God that made them whole again. They fall into our hearts and forever stay there. We are able to see pain inside a person without them even saying a word. We understand empathy and sympathy. We discover the spiritual gift of mercy which is a wonderful gift!

As we grow wiser…

We think about the many stages of our children’s lives from inhaling our newborns sweet smell to Saturday morning snuggles, cinnamon rolls in bed and cartoons with our babies, to mall shopping , pedicures and passenger riding ( yikes) with our teens, to apartment shopping, discussing college life and fun adult time with our young adult children. We indulge in simple dates with our husbands that end at 9 p.m. Sometimes dinner and a movie turns into dinner or a movie! A quiet long soak in the tub is sometimes better than a vacation. There is no packing involved!

What I want for the next half of my life….

I do want to live here on this imperfect earth for a long enough time to see my girls grow up, get married and start families. I want to play with and love my grandchildren, give them junk food that I never let my own kids eat and spend my evenings overlooking the lake in my rocker next to my (retired) soul mate, my first and only love of my life… but I have a calmness and less of a fear about death knowing that this is just my temporary home. I have been accused of being an ” old soul” and that is ok with me. I will admit when I look in the church pamphlet I get excited about upcoming ladies events and then I realize it is for the 50+ group…I often wondered if they would notice me slipping in?! I find myself with a weird smiling grin when I see a bunch of grey haired ladies all knitting in a group. I want to touch as many lives as I can while I’m here. I understand the seasons of life so much better now! So to all of you who fret getting older…. It’s not so bad, embrace it! Step outside your comfort zone. Let people in! Love the people you have because God will want them back some day! So for now I am embracing 38!

“For you, O LORD, have made me glad by your work; at the works of you hands I sing for joy”

Psalm 9 2:4